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posted 7 May 2016, 00:47 by Kristy Mulvihill
I was lucky enough to recently attend Yan Palmer's 2.0 alumni workshop in Byron Bay and boy oh boy did that stir up so many emotions in me.  It's made me realise that I want to do more than just take pretty pictures. I want to take photos that mean something, that stir up emotions that are buried deep inside us.  And I want to capture my kids again and tell our story, becuase you know what? We do have a story, it's not the lovliest, the prettiest, the hardest or the easiest, but it is ours and there may just be someone else out there who can totally relate to what I'm saying.  So I guess what I'm telling you is that from now on there will be more from me on a much more personal level - shit's about to get real!

In this last week my daughter had her school's cross country, this is a huge deal for her.  A few years ago, completely out of the blue, she came first in the race.  The following year she let her nerves completely take over her and she pulled out of the race at the starting line.  She was absolutely gutted with herself afterwards, but at the time there was nothing at all any of the teachers, her father or myself could do to encourage her to have a go.  Last year she pushed herself to do it even though she had been sick only two days before and struggled to get through it.  She still only looked at it with regret rather than being proud that she did it.  So this year, in the last few weeks leading up to it, I've had her constantly asking questions about it.  When is it being held? How far will I have to run?  She was even having trouble getting to sleep at night and would ask more questions.  What if I don't know which way to go and I go the wrong way?  I helped her get through those weeks, answering the questions, gently encouraging her, and trying to get to the root of her anxiety.

She came second on the day and I am so so proud of her.  Not for placing, but for standing up there, knowing that she was going to complete it, even with all the nerves and even though she really doesn't enjoy it.  I hope one day she will be proud of herself too.

I really wanted to capture her anxiety and worry in the lead up to the day and also that sense of relief once it was all over and done with.  So here's the two shoots back to back, I'm pretty sure you'll be able to see the differences!